Love and Depression

Isaiah 11: 1-10
Romans 15: 4-13

Advent is about preparing our hearts for the coming of our Savior. The one who was born of a woman who was young and inexperienced. She had nothing to her name, and even her reputation was slightly soiled by the time Jesus makes an appearance. All she had to give was her love, and that she gave with abundance to this little baby wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by none of the luxuries and comforts she would have wished for him.

Mary and Joseph know something that no one else knows. This baby was special, and although all babies are special gifts this child was to be a gift to the world given by God. How Mary must have wanted to lavish the finest things on this little boy. How Joseph must have wanted to protect every tiny hair on his little head and wipe every tear from his sweet little face. Their love for Jesus would have known no bounds.

But soon after he was born, they had to flee Bethlehem and head not back to their hometown of Nazareth, but to Egypt to escape death. They never had a chance to give him all the things they wanted to, all the things that God deserves from us. Jesus grew up with a lot of love, but very little in the way of material wealth and possessions.

Christmastime in the 21st century tells us that our children and our loved ones cannot be happy without the best and most lavish gifts from us. We're told that we are to be always smiling during this month. We're to hold peace and joy and love in our hearts, and give thanks for all that we have. We're told so many things and they've created a false ideal. They're NOT true, not completely.

It's okay to not be happy during this time of year. It's okay to not spend a small fortune on all your friends and family. It's okay to be angry and depressed. It's okay to not enjoy this time of year. You're not alone if you sometimes feel that way. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy some aspects of this time, it's not that you don't appreciate what your Savior has done for you. All it means is that life has not been easy on you, and it's hard for you to find peace and joy when your wounds are fresh, and your heart is aching with suppressing it.

Mary ached. Joseph bled. They were expecting a child and it can be a miraculous and beautiful time for parents. Or it can be terrifying and confusing. I suspect that Mary and Joseph experienced both and it was the terror and confusion and uncertainty that plagued them most. No one likes to talk about that though. No one likes to mention the pain of being unwed and pregnant. No one likes to mention the hurt Joseph must have felt to know this son would never be completely his. No one talks about the utter fear and desolation they both must have felt as they came to Bethlehem, knowing that Mary was about to give birth, and they were without support or love.

Do you think they didn't feel abandoned by God? Oh, trust me, they did. God sweeps in and announced Mary is pregnant with a very special child, that salvation depended upon her giving birth to a perfect little son. Do you know how rare that was? 2,000 years ago giving birth was extremely risky and often caused the death of the mother and the child. If the child lived, they didn't always live very long. Not many children made it past their 2nd year, and even fewer made it past childhood into puberty. The pressure they were both under was enormous. She probably had morning sickness all day long for all 9 months from the pressure and stress she was under.

Joseph would have been wracked with guilt that there was nothing he could do to ease this pressure and stress from Mary. He would have stood by her side and watched her throw up, trying to reassure her that all would be well, that God had a plan and would let nothing happen to them. But they weren't stupid. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Bad things happen to those God professes to love more than anything. The Old Testament was filled with those God loved being troubled and hurt. And so Joseph's reassurances would have been slightly empty, like we are sometimes empty during this holiday season.

It's not that we don't believe that God loves us. It's not that we aren't thankful for Jesus Christ coming to earth as a baby and dying for our sins. It's not that we don't want to accept hope, love, joy, and peace into our hearts. We have learned that life is fragile and those we care about can be ripped from us in a couple heartbeats. We have learned that although we struggle to do the right things, that those who do wrong often get what we do not. We have learned that it is in the moments we're supposed to be most happy and joyful, that instead we are lonely and sad.

How do we get past our pain to accept the love that is ours this day? It's not easy, and we may never get past it completely, but there are things we can do.

The first thing we do is pray and offer our troubles to God. We ask that the Holy Spirit be with us during our darkest hours and fill our hearts with good things instead of the pain of past hurts and missing loved ones. The second thing we do is believe that God wants what is best for us. The third thing we do is find the things that do bring us joy. I have not been feeling the Christmas spirit this year, and my grandmother noticed.

She kept insisting that we put up my Christmas decorations and tree before she left this last week. We ended up having to make a special trip to see my sister and so we didn't get to it. She's called every day since then to ask if I put it up. Finally, I asked yesterday why she cared so much if I put it up or not. She told me, "A Christmas tree is a reminder of the promise. The lights twinkle no matter what mood we're in. The ornaments are made from loved ones and the things we enjoy. Looking at the tree brings me peace. It gives me hope that better times will come. You need that. We all need that. Put up the tree, Audra. Give yourself a chance to find some joy in a lonely moment."

My grandmother is a wise woman. I put up the tree last night. I spent a long time watching the lights glitter off the ornaments. I remembered past Christmases sleeping under the tree with my sisters and my mom nearby watching television with us. I remembered the promise God made to us all. Not that life would be without pain, but that God was there with us. That Jesus died for us. That the Holy Spirit never leaves us alone and therefore I am not abandoned to my fate with no hope of redemption.

This may not be your favorite season. This may be a painful time. But even in the darkest moments, we can allow the light of God's love to shine in us and chase some of the gloom and doom away. As Paul said in Romans 15:13 " May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Trust in God. Not yourself or anyone else, but in God the one who gave us the miracle of Jesus Christ, birthed to two people that were just like us and were scared and lonely just like us. Trust in God and allow God's hope to fill you with joy and peace so that this Christmas we may all overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.