Taken Over

17As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. "Good teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
18"Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good—except God alone. 19You know the commandments: 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.'[d]"

20"Teacher," he declared, "all these I have kept since I was a boy."

21Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

22At this the man's face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, "How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!"

24The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, "Children, how hard it is[e] to enter the kingdom of God! 25It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

26The disciples were even more amazed, and said to each other, "Who then can be saved?"

27Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."


Many times when we read this story about the Rich Young Ruler in Mark 10:17-31 we are told that everyone should learn to share, to give, not to count possessions as important.

But what if material wealth isn’t the thing you don’t want to give up? Every person in the world has a vice or addiction or attachment that means more to them than it should. Perhaps it is your baseball card collection from when you were young. Maybe it is your mother’s fine china, handed down through four generations. Perhaps it’s those fudge pops that your wife keeps buying even though you can eat four in one night. Perhaps it is alcohol, drugs or you watch too much television.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying what God has given to us. We would be miserable people if we did not take time to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. When we work hard all our lives, we deserve the chance to take the weekend and go to the beach or somewhere nice every once in awhile.

All of you sitting in the pews today know what your vice is. Some of us only have one, while others will have more. The young man in the story loved his material wealth. Look at this story, it conveys how much he loved what he had. The young man runs to Jesus, kneels before him and calls him Good teacher a sign of utmost respect. Jesus tells him, why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. But the man is not to be dissuaded by Jesus’ admonishment. Still, he replies, Teacher! What is it I lack?” the man was so sure that he didn’t have enough. Right there is the first sign of how the material possessions had taken over his thinking.

But Jesus looked at the man, he saw him and he loved him for who he was. In Matthew, Jesus replies, “If you want to be perfect, go sell all of your possessions give them to the poor and then come, follow me.” In Mark, Jesus says there is one thing you lack, in response to this man’s desire to own. But each version does say that when the man heard this, he was saddened for he had many possessions.

This was the same man who had just run forward, an undignified thing to do back then. If this man was as wealthy and important as the story tells us he is, he never should have been hurrying. Important people always walked as if the world waited for them. So here is a man who is so eager to learn and to follow the way of the Lord that he forgets his dignity. Then even after Jesus admonishes him he is still not dissuaded and continues to question. But as soon as he hears what it is that he must do, he turns away. Someone who had followed all of the commandments his entire life could not follow this one thing Jesus asked of him.

If you asked Jesus what you lack, if you asked him how to be made perfect, what would his response be to you? And would you be able to give up what holds you back from eternal life? There is something we all hold tight and don’t want to let go. For some it is wealth and for others it is something completely different.

If you have your bibles, please turn to Exodus. Exodus is where God calls his people. He calls them out of the land of Egypt and slavery to come and worship Him. Many think that God called them out of Egypt to give them the land of milk and honey, but it says he wanted them to be able to worship. Exodus 3:11-12 it says, But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain."
The Israelites were never able to fully worship the Lord until they had wandered in the desert for 40 years. When they first got to Mount Sinai they were so busy complaining and making a golden calf to worship that they never truly worshiped God. Instead, they spent the next forty years learning how to get rid of their excess baggage so they may do what God had originally intended – entering the Promised Land and worshipping God.

Think about when you start planning a two week vacation. The first thing we want to do is pack a ton of clothing. Then we add the extra stuff that we don’t dare leave without just in case. By the time we are done packing we have twice as much as we really need. But if our trip turned from a two week vacation to 40 years in the desert, it wouldn’t be long before we started to get rid of extras to make our load lighter and our way easier.

We do the same thing in our hearts. We carry around excess baggage that prevents us from getting to the places we should be as quickly as we could. That is why the Holy Spirit is always working on us, helping us to refine and reform our lives. She helps shape us into people that can walk in the desert efficiently, without the vices that would prevent us from entering the Promised Land. Because isn’t that what we all want to eventually do? Enter the Promised Land?

But just as the rich young man could not enter heaven until he gave up his wealth, we cannot enter heaven until we give up that excess baggage we carry around with us. Those things that weigh us down, hardening our hearts to God’s truth, and preventing us from living the life Jesus has called us to. It was the same for the Israelites. They held onto the past and did not want to let go so that they could embrace the future with the Lord.

They complained all the time! I would not have wanted to be Moses because he constantly had to put out fires. They complained about food and water so God provided bread from heaven and quail and dew. Then they complained about not having exotic food. Then, when Moses finally got them to the Mount Sinai and he was gone for only a few days they created a golden calf to worship rather than trust in the Lord.

It was no wonder that the Lord led them in circles in the desert for so long. They needed every bit of that time to learn and to grow. So it took them forty years of wandering to get their hearts in the right place. It took forty long years for them to rid themselves of excess baggage. They needed to learn to depend fully upon God for all things and no longer worry about tomorrow.

How long will it take you?

Jesus tells us in Mark 10: 24 that it is hard to enter the Kingdom of God. We are a sinful people full of pride, envy and other sinful ways. Jesus has called us to be Christians, people that consider the Lord before they act or speak. Jesus has called us to be his people just as the Lord once called the Israelites to be his people. Are we going to take as long as they did to understand the gift of salvation, the gift of deliverance we have been given?

The Lord calls us. He calls us to worship Him. To love others. To give of ourselves. Before we can do any of that, we need to get rid of the sinfulness inside of us. We need to let go of what holds us back from entering the Promised Land. We need to open our hearts to the working of the Holy Spirit so that we may become better people, not perfect or good for that is God alone, but better.

When we worship the Lord, something changes inside of us for we have opened ourselves up. We have made ourselves vulnerable and as hard as that is to do, the blessings we are given by God for doing it, are abundant. But first we must ask ourselves what would Jesus say we must give up, what is it we lack? And then, we must not turn away from Him as the rich young ruler did. We need to be willing to work on our hearts, our minds and bodies. We are called to be the people of Christ. The only way we can be those people is when we give ourselves up to the Lord, so that no longer is it our vice that has taken over our minds and hearts but it is the Lord that has taken us over.

It is the Lord that keeps us going, not some material possession. It is the Lord that is the way, the truth, and the life. It is the Lord that is the bread of life. Let us take into our hearts and minds, all that is our God, Father, son and Spirit. Let the Lord take you over and let go of everything else so you too may enter the Promised Land - the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen.

Proclaiming the Kingdom

We are God’s people. We have been given the gift of salvation because we have heard the Word of God proclaimed to us and we have listened. We have been called to preach and teach the Gospel to the entire world. We are God’s called people.

In this passage of Acts 28:23-31, Luke ends a story that is still not finished today. Perhaps that is the reason we are not told that Paul dies in Rome. Instead, Luke tells us that Paul preached and taught the Kingdom of God and Jesus Christ to all those who would listen. This is important for us to think about because Luke could have ended with Paul’s death and then a persecuted people could have been left with another martyr. But rather, we are being told that death does not stop the preaching of the Word - because as long as the Holy Spirit is active, nothing and no one can silence the Gospel.

In the area I grew up, we had a lot of flooding and so a dam was to be built where a town resided. The town was to be flooded, as part of a large lake for which a dam was being built. In the months before it was to be flooded, all improvements and repairs in the whole town were stopped. What was the use of painting a house if it were to be covered with water in six months? Why repair anything when the whole village was to be wiped out? So, week by week, the whole town became more and more bedraggled, more gone to seed, more woebegone. "Where there is no faith in the future, there is no power in the present."

This world is cynical and without hope. Too often we can let ourselves be dragged down into the same cynicism and hopelessness such as that town that no longer had a future. We, as Christians, are called to be in the world but not of the world. When we feel like outsiders and like nothing will ever go our way, we need to remember the future belongs to Jesus Christ who is The WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIGHT.

When Paul gets to Rome, we read the first thing he did was to go to the Jewish leaders and began to speak to them about the Gospel and Jesus. He spent a whole day talking to them and using the Law of Moses and the Prophets to try to convince them. He was telling them about the faithfulness of God as he deals with a faithless people who have so often rejected the messengers of God. He was telling them that there was still hope if they would allow themselves to listen. Some of them did, but more did not. His last words to them were from Isaiah to explain why some can hear the Word and others cannot.

Paul warned them that their rejection would mean the Good News would be preached to the Gentiles because he knew they would listen. That does not mean Paul was telling the Jewish people they could never be saved. On the contrary, Paul knew that they would always be God’s people but now the Gentiles would be included. Why is Paul so sure that if Jewish people will not listen to the Gospel that the Gentiles will?

The unbelievers or gentiles are not wicked and evil people. They are just like you and me, but have not heard about the grace they may receive through Jesus Christ. This is why they will listen to what Paul has to say. They have no idea the salvation of God is for everyone and when Paul shares this Good News with them it is like when in Luke the rejected host sends out for the maimed, the blind and the lame to sit at his dinner table. These outsiders come because they have nowhere else to go. Unless someone invites them, unless someone shares the Gospel with them, they are without hope. The poor will come, the gentile will listen because they are empty enough to hear and accept the invitation that is being offered to them. They see the gift and they are willing to receive it.

We need to learn to thirst and hunger. We need to want God deep inside of us. When we empty ourselves, we are able to be renewed. We have been blessed by God, for it is God that gives us all we have, but we have stopped responding to his blessings. Why does God bless us? So that we may bless others!

Why is Christianity growing in the poor countries, in the places where people are belittled and hungry and sick? They are empty and someone saw that and began to preach the Kingdom of God to them. Then the sick, the blind, the hungry were filled with hope from the Holy Spirit, they were given the gift of salvation and were made a promise that God will keep even when we break our end of it. The blind were given a vision; the hungry were given food that does not perish. Jesus tells us we cannot live by bread alone. But here in America we sure do try!

D.L Moody, an American evangelist of the 19th century once said, "I believe firmly that the moment our hearts are emptied of pride and selfishness and ambition and everything that is contrary to God's law, the Holy Spirit will fill every corner of our hearts. But if we are full of pride and conceit and ambition and the world, there is no room for the Spirit of God. We must be emptied before we can be filled."

If we could learn to empty ourselves, if we could remember that everything we are given is not by our own efforts but those of Jesus, we would be better for it. Our faith would not be timid and our lives would hold conviction. Luke 24: 48, Jesus tells his disciples that they are witnesses. We are a called people. Jesus has given us the gift of salvation and we have been called to witness to this promise of life everlasting. We witness through blessing others as we have been blessed. We witness by speaking out against injustice and hate. We witness by opening our hearts to those we have closed them to. We witness by loving Jesus and making no excuses for it.

As we witness to those around us, we need to remember Paul did not preach on the subject of an unknown God who is near, but rather he talked about the kingdom of God and the Lord Jesus. He was specific and he was purposeful in his message, even to those he knew would not like what they were hearing. We may not be able to walk into a synagogue or a mosque, but that does not prevent us from reaching out to those of other religions and faiths to make contact. We are all God’s children. We are all called by the Holy Spirit to lead good lives of faith. The only way to do that is by welcoming every person into your heart and extending your hospitality to those who have never had the chance to discuss who Jesus Christ is.

We do not bring people to salvation, but we can help them hear the Gospel by preaching the Kingdom of God and the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith is about listening to the unconditional promise of salvation. Hearing the words and understanding the Truth in them, the truth that is Jesus Christ. Our faith in Jesus comes from the working of the Holy Spirit. That means we cannot get there without the Lord.

But before we can see that and act upon it, we need to be empty enough; we need to be hungry enough to keep seeking Jesus in every moment of every day. If we are not looking for the Lord in all that we say and do – then we are missing the point. The Lord created the world out of nothing which means all things come from Him. Let us thank Him for the blessings he has bestowed upon us by sharing the Gospel, by proclaiming the Kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to all those who would listen.

Amen.

The Days After Christmas

Matthew 2: 13-18

When they had gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. "Get up," he said, "take the child and his mother and escape to Egypt. Stay there until I tell you, for Herod is going to search for the child to kill him." So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod. And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet: "Out of Egypt I called my son."

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:

"A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more."

In the year 1809 the international scene was tumultuous. Napoleon was sweeping through Austria; blood was flowing freely. Nobody then cared about the babies being born. But the world was overlooking some significant births.

For example, William Gladstone was born that year. He was destined to become one of England's finest statesmen. That same year, Alfred Tennyson was born to an obscure minister and his wife. The child would one day greatly affect the literary world in a marked manner. On the American continent, Oliver Wendell Holmes was born in Cambridge, Massachusetts. And not far away in Boston, Edgar Allan Poe began his eventful, albeit tragic, life. It was also in that same year that a physician named Darwin and his wife named their child Charles Robert. And that same year produced the cries of a newborn infant in a rugged log cabin in Hardin County, Kentucky. The baby's name was Abraham Lincoln.

If there had been news broadcasts at that time, I'm certain these words would have been heard: "The destiny of the world is being shaped on an Austrian battlefield today." But history was actually being shaped in the cradles of England and America. Similarly, everyone thought taxation was the big news back when Jesus was born. But a young Jewish woman cradled the biggest news of all: the birth of the Savior.

The Christmas season is not about boxes tied with ribbons or bobbles and lights on trees. We have turned it into a celebration of gifts and commercialized thoughtfulness as well as manufactured joy. But Christmas is about the lowly, unrecognized and almost forgotten child of a young couple and how that baby boy changed the fate of all humanity.

Leading up to Christmas we are all very busy with hectic schedules and timetables. We know we have a lot to do before we get that much needed time off. So we run around with lists and hurriedly scratch off each thing we did only to add on three more errands. In all this busyness, we have no time to spend thinking about the truth in the word Christmas. This holiday is supposed to celebrate the birth of a baby that somehow is also God.

It is the greatest mystery in the entire world, it is the greatest part of our faith and we have no time to think about it. We do not do justice to the birth of Christ.

Karl Laney, in his book “Marching Orders” wrote about a Berlin art gallery where there is a painting by the German painter Adolf Menzel. It is only partially finished. It was intended to show Fredrick the Great speaking with some of his generals, however, Menzel first painted the generals and background, while leaving the king until last. He put the outline of Fredrick in charcoal, but died prior to finishing.

Many Christians will come to the end of life without ever having put Christ into his proper place, center stage.

I’d like to think there is a way to fix this but I have noticed that each year we overlook the mystery of Jesus as we hang the mistletoe. There is also an appalling tendency to forget about Jesus as our Savior until Lent is upon us. Unfortunately, Mary and Joseph did not have that luxury when Jesus was born. If it wasn’t bad enough, giving birth in a manger with dirty animals all around, they soon had to pack up their things and walk to Egypt in the scorching heat of the desert sun during the day and the extreme cold at night. It was a trip of 400 miles.

About a week ago, my friend Natalie gave birth to a beautiful baby girl after 27 hours of intense labor. She was in a sterile hospital with nurses and doctors and midwives. Everything should have went perfectly, but something went horribly wrong and Natalie lost 2.5 liters of blood and ended up having four blood transfusions. Mary, gave birth in the cold of a dark, lonely night. With little light, the smell of dirt, decay and refuse all around her. She probably was laying upon dirty straw with the only help that of her husband Joseph – who would have known little to nothing about the birthing process. Then, to be told to get up and flee to Egypt, a trip that would make us shudder – I cannot imagine the fear and pain Mary was in.

My friend Natalie told me that while in the hospital she was not able to bond with her baby girl and the pain she experienced at her birth made her depressed. She didn’t want to feel that way, but she couldn’t help herself. She had a traumatic experience and was unable to shake the blues until after leaving behind the hospital where she was supposed to be safe and instead was hurt. She resented the surgery she endured right after giving birth, she resented not being able to bond with her daughter right away and she resented the horrible pain. Did Mary resent her baby boy and all the pain and terror he brought into her life? We never ask those questions, we never look at the dirty side of the miracle. And yet, what she went through was because God had called upon her and she answered. Both her and Joseph heard God and listened.

Mary and Joseph saved the life of Jesus by being willing to do anything it took to keep him alive. We’re not even willing to give him one day to live exclusively in our hearts. We have made his birth into something sold as a discount in department stores that we wrap up with pretty green and red wrapping paper. We have cheapened our Savior’s gift to us.

A television interviewer was walking streets of Tokyo at Christmas time. Much as in America, Christmas shopping is a big commercial success in Japan. The interviewer stopped one young woman on the sidewalk, and asked, "What is the meaning of Christmas?" Laughing, she responded, "I don't know. Is that the day that Jesus died?"

There is some truth in her answer. And it is Christians that have committed the worst of it because we know the truth and yet we do not share it. We have experienced God with us and yet we do not celebrate Him. Why have we forgotten, why have we reduced Jesus Christ to one gigantic shopping trip and a bunch of parties with stale cookies and overly sweet punch?

During the Christmas Eve service we lit the Christmas candles and turned out the lights as we sang Silent Night. Looking at each person reflected in the light of their candle I realized something. The light of that candle bathed each person’s face in a golden glow – because Christians should be glowing with the light of the Holy Spirit when compared to a world that does not know Jesus.

If we did a police lineup of people from different religions, would a Christian look any different from a Hindu or Buddhist in the same culture? Probably not unless they were wearing a cross. However, if we put people from different religions into a small town and after several weeks of working and living there – would the town be able to pick out the Christian from the Muslim or Jew? I would like to think that by the Christian’s actions, word choice and behavior that the light of Christ would glow brightly and obviously to the people in the small town. But I’m afraid that they would not know.

So when I look around town or when I’m in Pittsburgh, sometimes I wonder who the Christians are. Is it the one who walked by a person struggling with ten bags in their hands? Is it the guy in the taxi swearing at the person crossing the street? Is it the young man that noticed an elderly woman getting into her car covered in snow and offers to help clean it off for her?

We seldom remember that our every action has a consequence. The person in distress we walk by without helping could be Jesus Christ. It is very easy to come up with excuses on why we do not do more and why we cannot help others. Just as it is easy to make excuses why we’re too busy to go to church on Sundays or to take the time to truly celebrate the incarnation of our Lord. The person we tell the excuse to may believe us but the Lord knows what is in our heart. He knows whether it was possible for us to take a moment out of our busy day to make time for another.

Thankfully, God decided he wasn’t too busy running the universe to help humanity by becoming a man. Thankfully, Mary and Joseph weren’t too busy with wedding preparations and house buying to take the time to listen when God spoke to them. They heard him and they obeyed. Will you be too busy to listen when God speaks to you?

Amen.

Emotional vs. Spiritual Love

I never would have thought that Green Day and Dietrich Bonhoeffer would work together but I find the mix a pleasing one.

I'm thinking about how he talks about the difference between emotional and spiritual love. emotional love is very selfish and similar to how Saint Paul talks about the flesh in 1 Corinthians. We feel justified in our actions and feelings and never look any deeper for the motivation behind what we do. So often, we label things "in the name of love" and Bonhoeffer creates the premise that if we truly examined our motivation we would find it is a selfish desire that has nothing whatsoever to do with true love.

True love goes deeper, much deeper to the spiritual realm of existence. To where we do things for Christ alone because it is only through and in Christ that we are able to experience love. True love comes from Christ and those that are at the level of emotional love are unable and utterly unwilling to submit themselves to spiritual love. They become angry, hostile and irrational when confronted with spiritual love. They will do anything to cling to their idea of love because they feel safe and comfortable.

How often do we find ourselves in a place where we are comfortable and when something comes along to shake us up, we are offended and upset? I'm starting to believe that perhaps it is God doing the shaking up. I'm starting to see that it's when we are unwilling to move, grow and change that we get into trouble and forget our purpose in life. Life is not meant to be lived for the self but for others.

We do not exist to be as comfortable as possible, as rich and as loved as it is possible to be. It's never been about that. Our lives are blessed when we bless others, that is how we receive worth and love. The satisfaction we all seek through our job searches and intimate relationships and extreme sports is found when we turn our lives back to their true path. We need to turn back to God, forsaking the idols we have created, turning away from our comforts and wealth and instead asking God what He wants from us each day.

There is nothing wrong with having money and a comfortable lifestyle. However, each thing that a person has comes from God. Do we thank Him for the things He gives to us each day? The little things first before the big things? Bonhoeffer makes a great point, how can God trust us with the big blessings when we are unwilling to acknowledge the small ones He has already give to us?

Examine your life. See where your blessings are and thank God for what you have. And the next time you pray, ask God what the next step in your path requires from YOU.

God Bless.

Healthy People, Healthy Checkbook Balance

Okay so I just got to thinking about health insurance and the problem the United States seems to find in insuring 40 million people and how another 30 million are under insured.

I am in the first category because I am going to school and just don't have the money to afford over a hundred dollars a month on insurance plus it would be shit coverage so I'd pay for most of my doctor's visits and most of my perscription anyway. So I have chosen to forsake it until I get a job that pays well. And today I needed insurance because I have an ear infection that needs antibiotics.

Like every other person I know what Obama is proposing and I know how everyone is waffling because they don't want socialized medicine. However, I don't think it should ever even come down to socialization anyway. I just read some jackass's analysis of healthcare and it said and I quote: "Competition Lacking Among Private Health Insurers". Um forgive me but DUUUUH! Why in the holy HELL do you think there are so many people uninsured?! I didn't need their brilliant analysis however it did get me to thinking.

Capitalism is supposed to be so great because it allows anyone to step in and fill a need that is not being met and make money. Right? So there are forty MILLION people that would jump at affordable health insurance. There's a market out there to also hit up another thirty million people that are underinsured. So what's the problem? Why has no one decided to step up and fill in the need?

I understand that insurance is an expensive business and when you're actually trying not to be fair and reasonable it can be risky. Until you consider the fact that you have a forty million pool to fish from to make your money. Think of this, $1.00 of profit x 40 million clients = $40 million in your bank account. It makes me wish I had some money to start up an insurance business!! Does no one else see this? What is so hard to understand about it and why doesn't forty million (let's be honest it'd probably be a couple hundred million) sound good to someone, good enough that they would remember the poor people and make insurance coverage for them as well?

This country has gone to hell in a handbasket. I'm rather ashamed of our cynical outlook and ME! ME! ME! attitude. But even with that sort of personality, there's a huge market of people you could help and also help your bank account.

The Final Tapestry

I have always been fascinated with stories of how a race of people came to be. I love history in all its misery and gore and beauty. You would think that such things are contradictions and yet I have found even in the most miserable, nasty and desolate moments in history there are tiny seeds of hope sewn. Waiting to grow, wanting to be harvested. It is up to those that come after to see those seeds and nourish them so that they may be a gift to us and to those that died.

Why am I waxing poetic about history? I am thinking about how America began. How proud we are as a nation of this red, white and blue country. And yet, the colors on our flag symbolize something we forget too often now that savage viciousness has given way to polished lies of civility.

The white man, the red man and the black man. All righteous in their hopes and dreams, all lost in a storm they never saw coming. And all of us - guilty for the things we would have done and still do today.

The blood, the sweat, the very breath of life. Red, white, blue. For a land that is so big, so full of promise - it wasn't quite big enough and it didn't hold enough promise. People were hurt, people were killed. All for owning a square piece of land that none of us truly will ever own. This is God's land for it is God's earth. Yet we will righteously fight and then pick apart our enemies and feed off their pain like carrion. The land of the free, the land of the brave. The land of broken promises and pain.

If we could have seen the destruction would history be different? Some would say yes but the cynics will always say no. I hold in my heart a seed of hope sewn by God Himself that if we had known, if we could have felt and seen with eyes of love - history would be different. So even as I look with sad eyes in the mirror and see the guilt and shame that has been passed down to me, I feel inside me that seed grow to a tiny little plant, hoping to flower.

I pray someday our children will carve out a new history for us to look upon. One that is full of what God intended. A land not of red, white, and blue - separated and alone, but a land where the red melds with blue and then white and we see a country of one color. The individual strands woven so closely together that from far away all we see is purple, but when examined closely each color is there, lending a hand in the final tapestry.

Big Ben in Big Trouble

Okay so this all began while I was in solitary for two weeks so I just found out about Ben Rothelisberger's trouble last night on the news.

I am a huge Steeler fan. I also really like Ben because his first year in 2004/5 when Hurricane Katrina hit he donated his game day salary to helping the victims and got the rest of the team to do it too. I like that about a person - and he wasn't making enough money (then) that giving up his salary was easily done. He has also become a great leader and when he screws up on the field he owns to it. Often he takes the blame for a blown game completely on his shoulders and I admire that. He doesn't shirk from responsibility.

However, I have heard he was a wild young man at times. He's definitely impulsive - it's one of the things we all like - when he breaks from the pocket to sprint down the field and dives to get those six extra yards that gives us another first down. So did he rape some woman while drinking in Vegas a year and a half ago? My instinctive answer is no because I like the kind of guy he SEEMS to be. Especially since on the field he seems able to own his mistakes but is he the same man off the field as he is on it?

I don't know him. Never met the guy. Fame does funny things to a person. Could he rape a woman? I hope not. But I don't know. As much as I love the Steelers and like him as a quarterback there is no way I can or will say he's completely innocent. It doesn't stop me from hoping he is and that the truth comes out in his favor. But if that woman was really raped and not just looking for a get rich quick scheme, I hope that he goes to jail. I hope that he has to pay out his ASS and then he goes to jail. Because rape is a horrible injustice that too many people don't pay for.

One out of every FIVE women in the world have been sexually abused in some form. That's a staggering and disgusting fact. A worse fact is that most of those abuses never get reported because the women/young girls are frightened and think it was their fault. They are told it is there fault. And when they get the courage (perhaps a year and a half later??) some people think they are lying, scheming moneygrubbers. Maybe this woman is just after Ben's money.

But what if her story is true?